Just Pervs by Jess Taylor

Author:Jess Taylor
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: BookThug
Published: 2019-09-15T16:45:56+00:00

A Prayer to the IUD

Praise be to the IUD, which sits snuggly in Kylie’s uterus. She thinks, Oh, praise this IUD, when her boyfriend, after a week-long breakup, follows her instructions from the couch, where she lies with freshly inserted IUD cramps. “Okay, get the big pot and fill it with water. Put it on the stove.” She has to tell him where the pot is kept, even though they’ve been living together off and on for several months. She tells him how to make pasta and then he dumps cold canned sauce overtop of it.

“There you go!” he says, proud of himself. “Supper! Now I have to go out and meet Chris.”

And then he’s down the stairs and out the door, in search of Chris, who will get him high. She moans on the couch. Praise be to the IUD.

Praise be to the IUD, she hardly gets her period anymore. That boyfriend is gone, and her new guy, the first night, she tells him she’s clean, and so is he, so because of the IUD, they can have sex without a condom. She explains that she put it in after she got back together with her old boyfriend so he couldn’t knock her up.

“And now I’m the one who benefits,” he jokes. He is a much sweeter man. The cramps still come, especially after sex. He rubs her back. “Was it something I did?” he asks.

“No,” she says. “Just the IUD.”

Oh, and there was a darker time, a time of pills swallowed that made her swell. A time when she lived only to work and to go to school and to come home to a partner, and take one pill daily, plus condoms, there couldn’t be a child. The pills, they did something else too, they flattened her into numb desperation. They found her alienation and made it grow. The man she was with, he wasn’t for her, and really no one was. Her periods were harsh and long. She’d bleed into the toilet, and the blood meant no child, which was what the pills were for in the first place, but the blood made her numbness fall out from her into a dark blood-clot tunnel, which only had suicide at the end. Praise be to the IUD.

Praise be to the IUD, she still thinks, as the doctor positions the needle on her arm and shoots her full of the Gardasil 9 vaccine. She can’t get pregnant, but her current partner (the sweet one is gone too) doesn’t really buy into monogamy. No babies, no HPV. Her list of nos is growing. The shot feels like a punch to the arm.

“Are you okay?” asks the doctor. “Do you want to lie down?” The doctor adjusts the paper on the table, moves the pillow under her head, and she surrenders.

Her friend texts her, It’s a good thing you’re getting it. I’m researching and you can get HPV from grinding, from touching, from hand jobs and blow jobs, you can get HPV in your throat and it can cause cancer.

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